"This story is the key to the nature of the transformation it celebrates and the absolute split that transformation produces. A subject finds itself lost in a world of sin, prey to all the evils that have taken control of one's life. A despair seizes the soul. One is powerless to deal with one's problems or heal oneself because there is nothing within the self that one can draw on to make that project possible. The inner world is a foul and pestilent congregation of sin and sinfulness. And there's no way out. One has hit rock bottom and (so the story goes when it's told best) teeters on the brink of suicide. And then in darkest night one lets Him into one's life. And all is transformed. Changed utterly. A terrible beauty is born. Before one was a sinner doing the bidding of Satan. Now one is saved and does the work of the Lord. The old self is extinguished. Utterly. One has achieved a new identity, a oneness with Christ that persists as long as one follows one condition: one must let him take over one's life. Totally. All decisions are now in Jesus' hands. He tells one what to do and one's fealty to his plan must be absolute. There can be no questioning, no doubt. For that would be the sign of only one thing-the voice of Satan and with it the danger of slipping back into those ways of being that one has, through one's conversion, put an end to forever. The person or self one once was is no more so complete is the power of conversion. A psyche has been delivered from itself. And it's all so simple finally, a matter of delivering oneself into His will, of following His plan as set forth in the Book and of letting nothing be within oneself but the voice of Jesus spreading peace and love throughout one's being.
The most striking thing about this narrative is the transparent nature of the psychological defense mechanism from which it derives and the rigidity with which it employs that mechanism. Splitting. Which as Freud and Klein show is the most primitive mechanism of defense employed by a psyche terrified of its inner world. The conversion story raises that mechanism to the status of a theological pathos. Though the story depends on recounting how sinful one's life once was(often in great even "loving" detail) the psychological meaning of conversion lies in its power to wipe all of that away. Magically one attains a totally new psyche, cleansed, pristine, and impermeable. One has, in fact, attained a totally new self-reference. The self is a function of one's total identification with Jesus. Consciousness is bathed in his presence. It has become the scene in which his love expresses itself in the beatific smile that fills ones face whenever one thinks of one's redemption, the tears that flood one's blessed cheeks, the saccharine tone that raises the voice to an eerie self-hypnotizing pitch whenever one finds another opportunity to express the joyous emotions that one must pump up at every opportunity in order to keep up the hyperconsciousness required to sustain the assurance of one's redemption. The whole process is a monument to the power of magical thinking to blow away inner reality, and as such a further sign of the primitive nature of the psychological mechanisms on which conversion depends."
Un gran texto, que Davis enfatiza en el caso de los fundamentalistas, pero también se aplica bien a todos quienes creen que sirven a Dios poniéndose en segundo lugar, olvidándose de la segunda parte del resumen de toda la ley: Amarás a tu prójimo, como a tí mismo. Y es notorio ver como en la jerarquía se olvidan de amarse a sí mismos, tratando se llenar ese vacío de amor con riqueza (sólo vean el BMW del párroco de San Jacinto en San Angel, la Ciudad de México), alcohol (la creciente cantidad de sacerdores con adicciones en impactante) o el sexo casual (dejando de lado los casos de pederastas, es llamativo saber como los novicios tienen relaciones sexuales con sus superiores, y como crece el número de sacerdotes con sida...)... Y todo por olvidar la segunda parte de toda la ley, y como la cumplen, tampoco cumplen la primera. Así, quienes se supone deben "pastorear", se convierten en lo que quisieron no ser, lobos.
Otro texto interesante es un artículo de Luis A. Várguez Pasos (archivo en pdf), de la Universidad Autónoma de Yucatán. Titulado "La "guerra espiritual" como discernimiento vocacional: ¿ser sacerdote o estar en el mundo?", el artículo analiza las experiencias de doce ex seminaristas del Seminario Conciliar de Yucatán, ante la decisión, de primero, entrar a esta institución y, luego, salir de ella. Fue publicado en el número de invierno 2006 de la revista Relaciones de El Colegio de Michoacán.
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